From the Texas Bar Journal- April 2002
by Jerry Buchmeyer

Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny From Judge James W. Mehaffy of Beaumont, 58th District Court, the following argument was presented by Matt Willis in response to Ted Ray's "exceptionally erudite motion to strike the Plaintiff's expert."

MR. WILLIS: And, finally, your Honor, to wrap this up, I'll point out that these scientific causation hearings are difficult. The nomenclature is somewhat difficult for me, being a small-town country lawyer. But the defendants in their motion has referred to this evidence as mumbo-jumbo, and I thought that was a little more of the kind of language I might could understand and might could deal with. So I'd like to point out to the Court as follows, as our conclusion: The Defendants call our evidence scientific mumbo-jumbo. In reality, the Defendant's motion is little more than a namby-pamby argument full of a hodge-podge of ideas put together in a willy-nilly fashion, in a phony-baloney attempt to persuade this Court to strike Plaintiff's super-duper experts. Only an itsy-bitsy portion of the Defendant's argument has even a teeny-weeny amount of relevancy. Defendant's reasoning is so entirely helter-skelter, not even the judicial hocus-pocus they are requesting can prevent their Havner-Robinson argument from falling on its sword. It's just a mumbo-jumbo hari-kari. (APPLAUSE)

MR. WILLIS: I'd also point out, your Honor, while itsy-bitsy and teeny-weeny are covered under copyright, there's apparently no infringement unless they're used in succession and in conjunction with the description of a certain type of women's swim wear. So, I think we're okay. (LAUGHTER)

THE COURT: Mr. Ray (Defendant's counsel), you have been trumped.

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IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL
by Robin Kulhanek

As everyone is hopefully well aware, the profession of court reporting has been given quite a bit of attention in the media lately, most of which casts a less than flattering light upon us all. Much of this has to do with the uneducated and uninformed speaking out about what our work really entails, which can lead to unfavorable conclusions about what it is they believe we actually do – or don’t do.

My point to all of this is that we, as experienced court reporters working in the field every day, need to make ourselves available to the future of our profession: the students. We must keep them informed and help mold them into professionals who will uphold the integrity of our profession, maintaining and furthering the standards which we have set.

An inexperienced, novice reporter fresh out of court reporting school still requires much training, specifically on-the-job training, and they need some guidance. This is the point at which experienced reporters need to come into the picture.

HCRA has set up a committee to have working court reporters go and to talk to these students while they are still in school and then continue to be available to them when they become certified reporters. We can do this by teaching them the day-to-day procedures of working reporters, be they freelance or official, to enable them to become better court reporters.

We encourage you to give your time and participate in this mentoring program. Don’t you remember what it was like when you were in school and a “real court reporter” came to visit? Someone took time out of their busy schedule to give you that encouragement to hold onto. It’s time to give back. Be that person to a student today.

Please contact me and we’ll set up a time for your “day at school.”

Robin Kulhanek, CSR, rdkul@pdq.net 713-681-2106

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